Machinehead

Too Much Noise

As It Were (with Jensen on bass)

Yeahhhhh....

When I got home Ekta's supervisor Leelee called me back.  Having had some time to think over exactly what I was going to say, I remained calm and went over the litany of errors and oversights that had occurred in the handling of my loan - pretty much what was in my last post plus the added stuff from the top of this one.  I also added that I had never experienced dissatisfaction like this with USAA before, including my first home loan that I had processed through them.  This was really the heart of the matter, as USAA portrays themselves as being there for their members in the armed forces, but here I was, in a very stressful and demanding time, and they had been no better than Bank of America or any other large firm. To her credit, Leelee also stayed calm, and informed me that she had reviewed my file and that I was right - there were several issues in the way that my stuff had been handled; as a result, she was transferring my loan over to her most experienced officer, giving Ekta some remedial training, and would be contacting the VA daily in an effort to expedite the processing of the loan.  She also apologized for my experience and hoped that the solutions she'd put forth would help.  I agreed that they would, thanked her for her attention and time, and got off the phone with her.

About this time Bob called me back to let me know that the seller had agreed to let me move in before closing, so long as I would pay pro-rated rent in the amount of his mortgage, which seemed reasonable and far easier than rescheduling all the utility hookups, movers, and appliance deliveries I had scheduled, plus it cuts my commute in half.

So all told, USAA came through and the seller was awesome enough to let me move in on my original date.  HUZZAH.

1) there was an additional form that had to be filled out and signed before the loan could be processed
2) I had not gotten flood insurance
3) THEY HAD NOT RECEIVED THE LOAN APPLICATION.

It's five days before closing, and you're JUST NOW telling me the loan application never made it there?  (I sent it in back in October.)  WHAT THE FUCK.

After WTFing for about 5 minutes straight on the phone to Ekta, who never proposed a solution or said she'd try and expedite matters, I proceeded to accomplish the following:

1) downloaded, printed, signed, scanned form and sent it back to Ekta
2) Confirmed that I *HAD* flood insurance, but that Ekta now wanted it pre-paid rather than waiting for closing... so I paid and
3) drove to the place I'm staying to get the copy of the loan application I had, signed and initialed everything all over again, got it scanned and sent back to Ekta.  Again.

This isn't the first time she's messed up, either - she told me on Monday that I didn't have homeowners' insurance when in fact I had gotten it back in late October, and my insurance agent had faxed proof of it to Ekta on the 28th.  I confirmed this by asking the title lady if she had gotten it that day, and indeed she had.

So now it's a waiting game to see if we'll close on time... or if the seller will let me move in early (we're both Navy, so maybe he will...) - otherwise I have to reschedule the power, water, internet, movers, and washer/dryer delivery.

USAA has been pretty good to me over the years, but they have seriously dropped the ball on this one... Kendra is forward deployed IN JAPAN and the I'm STILL in the process of PCSing!  You'd think they would assign a bit more importance to this or perhaps put some additional oversight into the process.  Regardless, five days before closing is NOT the time that you want to hear that additional paperwork is due or that other paperwork is missing.

Kendra and I in the bar before the ball

As I said, we got into Norfolk the night before the ball, but were so relieved to finally have some time to ourselves that we ended up staying up quite late watching movies, talking and just catching up with stuff.  Which meant that we slept in until my haircut and Kendra's hair and makeup appointments the next day, compressing our time schedules a bit.  I had assembled my uniform the night before, but didn't account for the time that it would take for me to assemble all the crap I needed to while also getting my DJ deck, mixer and speaker ready to go (more on that later.)  With the farewell set to kick off at 4:00, I got us a cab out front at 3:00, giving us an hour to get to the hotel and get the music set up.  Things being what they are, I was a wee bit behind in my preparations, with Kendra chuckling at me while I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find ID, debit cards, etc.  So we get going around 3:10, and I was feeling a bit rushed, since I didn't have my standard ipod for my deck and had to use my iPhone instead - long story short, I didn't know that it would work at all, and I was responsible for the music.  (Sidebar: yes, I shouldn't have been responsible for anything since it was my farewell, but if I don't do it, who will? Anyway.)  Upon getting to the hotel Kendra and I head up to the admin room to find it in something of a state of disarray.  Around 3:20.  I let the guy in charge of the place know that there should probably be some more work done on the room, and then Kendra and I headed down to the bar for some quick munchies, as we were both starving, having gone without food since the previous night.  After munchies, a beer and a photo, we returned to the admin room and saw... no one.  I double-checked my watch - yup, it was four after four.  DJ equipment not there, bartender not there, people not there... Uhhhh, wtf?  As it turned out, the XO had told everyone the day before that things wouldn't really be kicking off until 5:45, so we were a weeeee bit early.  People trickled in slowly - a couple here, a stag guy there, but before you knew it, we had a nice critical mass of a crowd - assisted by some social lubricant - and everyone was having a good time, yours truly included.  This was a great relief to Kendra, who was a bit tired and frankly just did not want to deal with my shit and couldn't see why I thought it was such a big deal that no one was there "on time."  And she was right - everything ended up being just fine, regardless of how much or how little I fretted about things.

Kendra and I waiting for things to start

With the aid of the aforementioned social lubricants the time passed quickly, and before I knew it I was up in front of the whole squadron listening to the skipper recount my deployments and jobs held, followed by what was really a touching series of anecdotes and compliments regarding me and my three years in the squadron.  After the skipper and XO had had their say, to include calling Kendra "another piece of arm candy," we took a couple of photos with me receiving my plaque and photo mat, and then I had the floor.  I had given this "speech" of sorts a good bit of thought since I got the official date of my farewell, so I went with a theme that I'd visited earlier in my time at the squadron - the distinction between the Armed Services and standard civilian jobs, and how that distinction is slowly but surely being eroded.  I pontificated on that for a bit and then challenged the JOPA to prevent that from happening by holding on to the traditions and special things that make the Navy more than just a corporation with weapons.  Having made my point, I thanked all those that had helped me through my difficult times and had enabled me to help out with all the things that I did while at 26, and then graciously exited the stage to applause.

Kendra and her corsage

With the farewell portion out of the way, the skipper motioned for me to fade out the music and entreat people to head on down to the ball proper.  Kendra and I walked in and she was immediately given a balloon sculpture - I guess that's what people really want at military balls.  It turned out to be a rubber ducky, complete with bubbles... and it went on Kendra's wrist like a corsage!  Nice touch, weird balloon guy.  At the end of the room, close to where we sat, JOPA had constructed a 12' tall minotaur for our "centerpiece" that was mandated by the squadron that organized the ball. There was an added benefit - the thing actually housed a 5 gallon keg of beer and associated CO2, with the tap being in the only logical place.  This afforded us more cheap booze, since the admin room was closed and our pre-paid booze locked up until the ball was over - but the ingenuity of JOPA struck again, this time against the tyranny of high drink prices at mandatory functions.  We took our seats in the corner, far away from any unwitting senior officers who might spoil our fun, and proceeded to eat, drink, and basically be jackasses for the evening, making catcalls and whoops and hollers at judgments we didn't agree with.  Kendra got a bit tired by the end of dinner and the start of the gambling (oh wait, I forgot - the theme of the ball was "Monte Carlo," and we could gamble for raffle tickets at any of the many tables they had set up.), so I set her up in a room so she could get some sleep.

Matt and the, ahem, tap

While she was catching a quick nap, I kept on gambling - doing not so well at craps, semi-okay at blackjack and then headed to one of the bars to refresh my drink, our minotaur keg having been shut down at the behest of some higher ups.  While there, I was somewhat cornered, as these bartenders weren't especially quick and Kendra was still somnolent, so my ex, who was there with the guy she left me for, approached me to catch up.  To be sure, I could have just gotten my drink and said "See ya!" and I don't need Kendra to defend me from anyone, but at the same time I'm better than that - and it's a bit telling that the ex waited until I couldn't go anywhere and didn't have the awkwardness of my current girlfriend being present to talk to me.  At any rate, I was gracious and said hello and then talked with her for a few minutes about... well, nothing of consequence at all, really.  Lots of small talk, how her sister's been, etc.  When her fiancee came up to join the conversation, I knew that it was time for me to make my exit, so I said that I had to get back to my blackjack game, and that was that.

Upon getting back to the blackjack table I saw that all the spots were taken, so I headed over to the poker table, where a seat had just opened up near Dan and his wife.  I sat down and proceeded to do pretty well over the next hour, including two huge hands and one prize of turquoise jewelry for Kendra.  I was also happy to see that Kendra got up and headed down to the ballroom, and she was ten times better than she had been when I put her to bed an hour and change earlier - bright, alert, and ready to roll.  Unfortunately for her, the effects of drinking for 8 straight hours had started to catch up with me, so I gave most of my chips to the skipper's wife, who was sitting next to me, and Kendra and I caught a cab home, where I proceeded to serenade her with real life Rock Band on my guitar, bass and drums.  While she ordered pizza.  Good times!

The next morning I was a bit rough until we got coffee and pancakes at The Pancake House near Ward's Corner, along with some much-needed cold medicine from the Eckerd's nearby.  It was such a nice day when we left the Pancake House that Kendra lamented the fact that gas cost as much as it did, otherwise we would just go driving like people used to do.  On a whim I said "why can't we just go driving?"  So we rolled down all the windows, put the sunroof back and cruised around Norfolk neighborhoods, including the house my mother used to live in when she was stationed here back in the 60s. Upon returning home we discovered that I had left the house key inside the house, so we used the time we had waiting for the locksmith to show up further enjoying the great weather on the porch swing.  That evening we had some wine and watched a movie again - basically just relaxing in preparation for our flight to New Mexico early the next morning.

Kendra, bless her heart, had a much harder time of it while in Boston than I did due to the severe jet lag from her thirteen-time-zone-hopping plane ride.  I actually got to witness firsthand some of the more interesting side effects of Ambien when she took one and stayed awake for a bit afterwards.  I was lucky enough that she only had to use it once and for the rest of the trip was pretty okay.  I also got the distinct pleasure of meeting her sister Kelly, who is more brash than her sibling, if that's at all possible.

Kendra and I

Our first night there we were treated to homemade enchildadas courtesy of Kelly, followed the next day by a Sox game.  I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, actually - we headed to Kendra's grandmother's house for a bit more meet 'n greet along with some cheese and crackers when everyone got a bit peckish.  A few miles and wrong turns down the road and we were at Alewife station on the Red Line, headed into Boston for my first Red Sox game!  Kendra made sure to point out all the important landmarks, such as the large Citgo sign, Yawkey Way, etc. while ensuring that I looked like a complete tourist by getting pictures of us under or near everything.  Of course, they're awesome pictures.  The game itself wasn't too shabby either; our seats were awesome, the food was pretty tasty for ballpark fare and we were treated to one hell of a heckler that did a bang-up job of calling anyone and everyone out on any embarrassing things that might have escaped their notice.

A shot from our seats at Fenway

Kelly's, ahem, clavicle also got an up-close-and-personal encounter with one of the scraggliest beards I've ever seen - but alas, no pictures.  The Sox did their best but came up just short of a rally in the 9th, at which point we schlepped on out of the park and towards the Green Line and home.

The next day was a scheduled trip to the Nashoba Valley Winery for some apple picking and some unscheduled wine tasting.  I was surprised to learn that the entire area is rife with orchards - I counted four signs at the off-ramp to the interstate alone.  I assumed that there would be multiple varieties of apples available to pick at the orchard, but guessed a bit low; Kendra's mother asked us how many kinds of apples they had at the Winery and I guessed twelve while Kendra guessed 102.  They have 104, so yeah, I lowballed it a bit.

Contemplating peaches

Being a bit of a Georgia boy, I was also pleased to find that they had peaches ripe for the picking just a couple rows from some apple trees. Shortly after the start of our picking adventure Kendra's grandmother and grandfather arrived to pick with us, and I have to tell you - her grandfather is something else.  Think the "shitmydadsays" guy, but with less profanity and more balls.  To wit:  there are signs everywhere on the property about how it's illegal to pick using anything but a bag purchased from the winery (stealing, basically.)  Naturally, Kendra's granddad grabbed a plastic grocery bag and immediately set out for the fruit trees, ignoring our protestations with repeated remarks of "What're they gonna do to me?"  Someone eventually convinced him that two apple bags and a peach bag would produce more than enough fruit than all of us could reasonably eat or use before it all went bad, and he somewhat sullenly put the bag away and walked with the rest of us through the lines of trees.

Illicit Apples

Wine tasting

Shortly afterwards we had filled all the bags with some delicious, and in some cases, illicit, apples and peaches and bid Grandma and Grandpa farewell as they were headed back to their house to, um.  I think they had a meeting or something... anyway!  We put the apples into the cars and then headed into the restaurant/retail area, which was conveniently located three feet from the wine tasting area.  After perusing the shelves for a bit, we all bellied up with our tickets and sampled some rather delicious wine.  I especially enjoyed the plum wine and the mead, while Kendra, Kelly and their mom all loved the ice wine that I introduced to them.  Everyone ended up getting a bottle of the ice wine, while Kendra and Kelly both got a bottle of the plum, and I got a bottle of peach brandy for my mom and a bottle of their Renaissance offering, a dry red with a hint of a spicy finish.

That was mostly it for Massachusetts - we all got an early dinner at an Italian place and then Kendra and I headed to Logan for our flight to Norfolk to attend the Helicopter Ball. More on that in part 2.

Holy crap, "A Go Go" was popular as hell.